'Real cougar' on prowl to redefine stereotype in Oklahoma City
Published: November 5, 2009
Cathy Velte is not your average 54-year-old. The Oklahoma City woman is a successful medical researcher. Financially secure, she’s single, beautiful and confident. She’s a speed junkie who races cars professionally. And she’s proud to be a cougar.
Linda Franklin
Multimedia
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Cougar components
Five components of being a “Real Cougar,” from “Don't Ever Call Me Ma'am”: She knows how to keep her body healthy. She knows how to keep her beauty radiant. She knows how to keep her financial affairs in order. She knows how to keep her relationships nurtured. She knows how to keep her spirit fulfilled.
Cougars Online
Franklin has started an online community for Real Cougar women to relate to each other. At www.therealcougarwomanclub.com, women can join for free, set up their own profile, participate in forums and discussions, ask questions and learn about being the best real cougar they can be. Franklin also blogs about being a real cougar woman at www.therealcougarwoman.com.
Five components of being a “Real Cougar,” from “Don't Ever Call Me Ma'am”: She knows how to keep her body healthy. She knows how to keep her beauty radiant. She knows how to keep her financial affairs in order. She knows how to keep her relationships nurtured. She knows how to keep her spirit fulfilled.
Cougars Online
Franklin has started an online community for Real Cougar women to relate to each other. At www.therealcougarwomanclub.com, women can join for free, set up their own profile, participate in forums and discussions, ask questions and learn about being the best real cougar they can be. Franklin also blogs about being a real cougar woman at www.therealcougarwoman.com.
NewsOK Related Articles
‘Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am’
Linda Franklin wrote the book on being a "real cougar.” Literally. In "Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am,” Franklin knocks the stereotypical description of a cougar on its ear.
"Why is it that any time a woman breaks free from the conventional box society has placed her in, she inherits a degrading label?” Franklin writes in the book.
It irked her that when an older man dates a younger women, it’s like a badge of honor, but when a woman dates a younger man, she’s viewed as a predatory animal. She decided to put a positive spin on the cougar image and women over 40 in general.
Being a "real cougar,” Franklin said, is not about finding a hot, younger man to date. It’s about being the best a woman can be.
"The very first thing is to stop listening to what other people are saying,” Franklin said. "If you listen to the party line, you’re going to believe all the hype, that at this age, your sexuality goes away, your importance goes away. It just starts to diminish, and at 50, you just pack it in, put on your sneakers and your sweat suit and go play with your grandkids.”
Many women have put their own interests and true selves on the back burner for so long, they don’t even remember who they really are, Franklin said. Rediscovering yourself is important in becoming the best you can be.
"It’s not about the stilettos,” she said. Being a real cougar isn’t about dressing in short skirts, skimpy tops and vamping around singles bars on the prowl.
"Of course you want to look sexy; of course you want to look well put together; you want to look terrific — but for your age. And the women who go out of their way to try to look like they’re 25 in order to get a guy or for anything else, they’re laughed at. They’re not taken seriously.”


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You seem to misunderstand a lot of what I say. Is it me, or is it you? My guess is me.
I have what my wife's daughter set what she called a 50 foot tall fence protecting my computer where a 5 foot fence is enough. But I just use the darn thing for play so if a virus got through I would not care.
I thought this cougar story was the silliest in Oklahoman's history.
However, I'll check back in tonight if I get a chance, and, as always, my offer to provide an e-mail address if anyone wishes to discuss this or any other matter "off forum" - if, for instance, they object to my view on this or any matter for reasons they'd rather not put on the internet - at any time. This long-standing offer has not been taken up even once that I recall, but it's always out there.
Later, folks.
"I love it when people say, "Post the link where I said that..."
Like a particular discussion from 6 months ago will even come up in a search..."
For starters, there is an ironclad rule that educated grownups stand by in such matters: those who make the assertions/accusations provide the proof for their claims. That is what reasonable human beings do, and I think of you as a reasonable human being, Raven - your sudden hostility I do not quite comprehend.
But let's put that aside and tackle your claim that Deann and Matthew cannot be bothered to provide said proof because it's been months ago. Searching my memory, I vaguely recalled three different topics I've commented on roughly six months ago or so. Using the "search" function you denigrate, I found ALL THREE OF THEM in about five minutes.
Here (with links):
http://newsok.com/sarah-palin-david-letterman-owes-women-an-apology/article/3377214?custom_click=lead_story_title
And here:
http://newsok.com/20-years-after-resigning-from-ou-barry-switzers-still-king/article/3378847?widgetOffset0=0&custom_click=lead_story_title
And here:
http://newsok.com/president-obama-signs-anti-smoking-bill/article/3379712
Now, since I'm not in the habit many of leveling charges for which I have not the slightest shred of proof, I've never encountered that problem when it comes to such matters.
Someone's logic is "weak," indeed...
Outlaw said:
"Jason came along and in a failed attempt to bail out his extremist buddy Brock, attempted to change the argument"
False. Once again, a savant accuses others of what he/she themselves are guilty of doing, or endured. Go ahead and post the entire exchange, please. A simple overview of it will show I stayed right on topic and addressed directly several of the issues you raised - it was you who refused to post a cogent reply.
I know you'll get right on posting the entire exchange with a link, right? Right? (....*rollseyes*...)
And still, among all of those replying in opposition to me since my post of 8:34 pm last night, there is not ONE substantive remark dealing with my stand on any issue or opinion I've stated, but on my PERSONALITY. That is the tell-tale sign of people who are simply not intelligent enough to refute their intellectual betters, and resent the hell out of it.
But go ahead and have some more fun, and keep chasing those "Who is Jason?" tails - it actually, physically makes me laugh out loud to see grown men and women play such childish, let alone erroneous, games. As I've said before, it bothers me not in the least if you want to think I'm this state rep you are all obsessed with, or Ho Ho the Clown's ghost, or the Cookie Monster, or Barak Obama taking time off of a busy morning to play devil's advocate with some semi-literates in Okay-see. Speculate away in such silliness - I'll keep laughing.
I am going to institute a new rule that has nothing to do with that, though: you can call it "The Jason Rule."
As of this morning I have the followig posters on *ignore*: Milkman, paul, yukon, stinkerpants, and one other I forget, but I know I have him on it because I'll enter some threads that say "you are ignoring 4 comments from 4 posters" (and I NEVER hit the "see-all" button, which I know compounds the attention-craving disappointment).
I reserve *ignore* for those who continually distract from the discussions here by constantly indulging in nothing but obsessive Jason-stalking and subject-changing. I don't do this for my sake, but rather for other poster's sake who no doubt tire of wanting to discuss the issues of the day and instead seeing a gaggle of sputtering, spitting, belching savants chasing me all around this forum. I cannot reply to what I can't see, so it saves all of us who actually want to discuss issues and topics a lot of time.
From now on, I'm going to give posters who reply to me three chances to deal in substance, and then they're going on *ignore*. This entire thread has been hijacked away from discussing the topic and opinions, and turned into a Jason Discussion Group. Which is fine: I love my fans, and every one of you obsessed with me really do want to be like me, which is why you are talking about *me*, the person, not my opinions. Deep down inside, you feel the intellectual inferiority which is yours to claim against mine to disdain - and though you openly (and loudly) resent it, you secretly want to claw your ways, intellectually, up to to my level. And each and every one of you engaging in this behavior knows it.
But after three swings at bat, I'm no longer going to waste any time with you. It's not fair to other posters. My *ignore* list will no doubt grow, but that's life.
For instance, "Outlaw, Edmond"? You have strike one for your personality-mongering reply (and lie) at 8:44 am. Want to dispute what I say or my opinion? Fine. Want to indulge in Jason-Obsession and tell falsehoods to boot? Two more whacks in that direction and on *ignore* you go.
Now, I do not expect to be treated with kid's gloves on this forum, because I have many strong opinions and express them forcefully. But I do expect posters to keep to the discussion at hand, and talk about issues, not indulge in an obsession with an anonymous, nameless* person on the other end of a keyboard on a discussion forum. Again, not for my sake - but for those who truly do want to discuss issues, not personalities.
With moderate contempt for you I am adddressing regarding this matter, I am, and remain, the one & only "Jason, Edmond."
Thank you and good day.
*Does *anyone* who posts on here actually use their "real" first name? If so, you need to return to AOL chat with the teenyboppers - that's the most laughable part of all.
Stink, I enjoy our banter back and forth and have found some common ground with you. Who'd of thunk' it, huh? Btw, I never thought for a second that you were homosexual. ; )
Paul, don't leave. Oklahoma needs more IQ points.
Raven, I agree. Ewwwwwwww.
And finally, back to topic, there ain't nothing wrong with older women, but I wouldn't refer to them as "cougars" and I can't imagine it's good for self-reference.
Just think, when I leave, okieland will have gotten a bit WORSE than before when I was here....
I call BS and cite the experiences of American Indians, Blacks (slaves and then civil rights), Japanese citizens in WWII, interracial marriages, etc....
You can't dispute that there have been many groups that have been denied justice and freedom in this country. All you can do is try and justify it and that isn't the same as disputing that your statement was absolutely invalid.
Nice try, but no dice. Christian America HAS NOT always stood for freedom and justice. These concepts have evolved in this country thanks to those "liberal/progressive" individuals you despise.
I have family members that are homosexual but still don't agree with them and their attempt to "mainstream" their perversion in everyday life. I've never said I don't like them, rather I just don't approve of their behavior. Keep it to yourself and we'll be buds. I'll even drink a beer with you, but don't expect me to allow it to be taught to kindegartners as you wish. Your assumption does nothing but further your demise in the open arena of ideas. Why are you relegated to dishonest discourse and disoriented recollection? It seems to be intentional. Oh well, you lose credibility.
Outlaw, a portion of my heritage is Comanche. We were the scourge of the civilized Indians before the white man was even known. Yes, it's hard to believe, but Indians fought and killed each other before the supposed evil European came across the pond. My ancestors killed others for nothing more than to steal, rape and pillage. They held themselves superior to the other tribes with which they are associated. They were bred on war, on the fight, the spirit of freedom and openess, as well as the fierce determination to defend their territory. They were the uncontested champions of war, where no other tribe could challenge their dominance. Not the Apaches to the west, nor the tribes to the North and East. The white man did nothing that outdid their level. I have no remorse for those horrible actions of my forefathers, but in no way am I responsible for them. Get over it. I did.
Over the years and still today, the American Indian, on an individual basis recieves reperations and special consideration by the tens of thousands of dollars for any wrongdoing to their ancestors. It's my opinion that it's time these special considerations ended, but I don't see that happening anytime soon. You also refuse to understand that Black on Black slavery is 20 times worse in other countries than ours and is still occuring today. Americans realized their wrong doing and changed their ill ways yet you try to use the scenario in a lame attempt hundreds of years later to prop up your house of cards. Your second attempt here to disavow the advancements of European Caucasions for the masses and the willingness through Christian values to improve everyones liberty and freedom goes without mention. You keep your Anti-American stance and I'll call you on it everytime. Clear?
Btw, it's funny this came up here under this topic. Sorry for derailing it.
Just the comments from the cowardly Jason on this and past threads, and the hypocritical, mindless, bigoted comments on the Ft Hood situation is enough to forever make me thank God each and every day I wasn't born an okie.
Jason Murphey is an interesting guy, Brock. For a guy who doesn't like gay people, are you sure what you are getting into?
BTW, I believe it was Brock who made the claim that freedom and justice where what this country has been about since the beginning. I disputed that statement citing among other things American Indians, Japanese Citizens in WWII, and the slaves as examples of injustice in American history.
Jason came along and in a failed attempt to bail out his extremist buddy Brock, attempted to change the argument. He didn't dispute the fact that our country has not always stood for freedom and justice, but merely tried to change the subject to one of his liking. When I didn't bite he decided to unilaterally claim victory even though he agreed with me in his response.
I don't think anyone who reads these posts regularly would be surprised that Jason is guilty of what he accuses other of doing. He is a proven liar when he denies that this sort of thing happens, too many people see when he is caught. What a loser. Want some proof Jason? I don't think that post has been deleted yet so you can't claim it never happened this time.
Like a particular discussion from 6 months ago will even come up in a search anymore. Weak.
And notice how our scumbag Leftist/"progressive" friends who regularly post here never seem to get back to debating *facts*, or *issues*, or anything remotely resembling the matter at hand: they always focus on personalities - and indulge in the very tactics they attribute to others.
That's very telling, the inherent intellectual weakness of the scumbag Leftist/"progressive" position on about *any* issue, regardless of topic....
1. Post one instance, with a link, where you think I've been "cornered" by your logic. In fact, the reverse is true, but go ahead and show us.
2. Contra your claim, you come off as one of the most joyless, hateful, and self-loathing "commenters" (Sic) on this site I've ever run across. Every post of yours I've ever seen on something happening here in Oklahoma has been cloaked in shrieks of being "ashamed," and "angry," and "filled with pity" at whatever it is you're not liking that particular day going on in the Sooner State. Like projectionists everywhere, you attribute to others your own neurotic actions.
3. Do you have anything substantive to add to this discussion, outside of focusing on *me*? Any factual evidence you wish to present to refute my opinions, assertions, or claims?
Anything? Anything?....
....(*snickers*)....
Jason, as I always say, step away from the computer, go outside. Meet some people, have some fun.
"Jason, Edmond, the light of my life is my six year old granddaughter. She and her mom have shared a home with me since her birth. There are those in my family who share your view to the point of refusing to allow her to take part in weddings as flower girl. I love what Rick Warren says in Purpose Driven Life, "In God's eyes there are no illegitimate children, only illegitimate parents." As far as the other name calling, Jesus Christ came from the tribe of Judah and one of his ancestors, Rahab, was a prostitute. I believe I have seen you refer to your Christian beliefs. When you stand before God will you ask Him why he allowed a whore to be included in the lineage of His Son? Just curious. Gail, Bethany - Nov 5, 2009 at 12:21 pm"
Wrong in nearly every particular, but the instinctive, emotional defensiveness and smarmy special pleading is scarcely surprising: people who are emotionally invested in defending what is wrong often don't think so clearly when confronted with untidy, unpleasant truths that disturb them.
This is obviously the case here. Nevertheless, let's take this in order:
1. Congratulations on your granddaughter. It is good she has a supportive grandparent to fill the void that her actual father has apparently left. This in no way lessons the fact that illegitimacy is a scourge of our society, one that was once aggressively discouraged through the proper application of just such attitudes - and language - as I used in my original post.
And why did society once view things this way? Not because they were "mean" or "non-caring" or any of that other politically correct cant one hears from the defenders of the "sexual revolution" today: they did it because (a) they cared about the health of society and knew that allowing men to sire children they had no intention of looking after was inherently corrosive to said society, and (b) because they cared about the dignity of women, as opposed to the easy vehicles of no-consequences sex the so-called "sexual revolution" has turned many of them into in the eyes of horny men. The irony of the "sexual revolution" was that it was triumphed by feminists to the ultimate detriment of women.
2. One tires of hearing counter-arguments to arguments I never advanced in the first place, and it is instructive to point out - as I seem to have to do ceaselessly - that is was *you*, Gail, not I, who brought Jesus and "religion" into this discussion: I made a quite secular argument against illegitimacy.
Nevetheless, the comment deserves reply. You suggest that because Rahab was in Jesus's family tree he would've been sympathetic to those who engaged in sexual license outside of marriage. But besides Rahab*, Jesus also had an ancestor who was both an adulterer and a murderer. His name was David. Are you suggesting that Jesus would have approved of David's adultery with Bathsheba, and his murder of Uriah the Hittite?
If you say A, in the case of Rahab and her alleged harlotry, you must say B, in the case of David and his adultery & deliberate commission of the act of homicide.
Is that what you're trying to peddle to us here today, Gail?
In conclusion, allow me to say that you are quite correct: one day I will stand before a judgement throne and answer for the life I have lived. I am, after all, a sinner.
But I don't think I will have to answer for my publicly stated belief that people should only have sex with those they are married to, nor for my belief that there is nothing so degrading to women and their status in our society as the consequences-free sex many craven, opportunistic men are able to extract from them.
*This puts aside the fact that many Biblical scholars no longer believe Rahab was a prostitute of any kind at all.
http://www.myspace.com/jwmurphey
Remarkable insight will be provided and you'll see a direct correlation between the "2 Jasons"...
Medical researcher? I don't see PhD behind her name...wanna bet she enters the info into the computer?
Please make those voices STOP !!
Sadly, "Jason, Edmond" will never have the b***s to admit if he were one and the same ..........
I see his myspace page lists the ONLY school as the online college in Ct.
In order:
1. I stand 100% behind my original post on this article. The reason there is so much screeching about it is that the truth often is a painful thing to see in print - and what I said was 100% truthful.
2. I don't give a whit who you savants think I "really" am, and am neither going to confirm or deny ANYTHING. "Who Jason is" posts are just a silly distraction that has nothing to do with either the article at hand or my comments regarding it. It's an absurd way to to avoid talking about the issue, but the person holding the opinion. Like I said, believe what you want.
3. Deann said "He has claimed in that past that he was one of several children of "white trash" parents that lived on welfare" - that is a bald-faced lie, Deann. I have never said any such thing, anywhere, anytime. I challenge you to cough up the post where I made such a ridiculous (and false) statement.
"The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane."
That's the object of life? Not loving your wife and children, or God, or doing good work? See what I mean?
http://www.myspace.com/jwmurphey
Although I don't agree with much of Murphey's political leanings, I let him know what I think. He has always been respectful.
Jason, Edmond on the other hand is a real piece of work. I have ignored him for months, which makes reading these posts a lot more fun. He has claimed in that past that he was one of several children of "white trash" parents that lived on welfare. I don't think Murphey would make statements like that about his parents.
As for the Copa and the Horbana, well he could have been there. As I don't frequent those places, I wouldn't know. I did know a Mike Cronister from childhood, but don't think this is the same guy. The stuff about Murphey's church is disturbing, though. And, I knew about his "college" degree, misreprentation at the least. Also, he was homeschooled, didn't attend Guthrie schools growing up. That bothers me, too.
Raven, do you know Murphey? If so, what do you think?
If he is Jason, Edmond--and anybody can prove it, I'd sure like to know. It would blow his legislative job along with his darling Christian boy image out of the water!
Who are you?
We are three wise men.
What?
We are three wise men.
Well, what are you doing creeping around a cow shed at two o'clock in the morning? That doesn't sound very wise to me.
I've never said anything on this board to anyone that I wouldn't say to their face, so I guess I am a man Billy. Do you think it's OK to hide behind an anonymity of the internet to call people names and act like a jackass? Is that what you were taught a man was all about? I wonder about you sometimes.
:) We do get prettier at closing time. All of us.
More coincidence? Once again, methinks NOT.
Coincidence? Methinks NOT .
Posted above the Oklahoma cougar story on page one of Newsok.com. A more criminal and unsavory Cougar, for sure!
Ersland will be found not guilty. Like a challenge in football, there is no indisputable evidence that the kid was no longer a threat.
Back to your regularly scheduled program. Cougars.
Here's the link:
http://newsok.com/article/3373186?widgetOffset0=0#comment
Multiple personality, perhaps?
Afraid he might lose the next election if he did admit he were one and the same?
Maybe he's just afraid of losing his cushy job because he deplores hard work?
On another note, I think Jerome Ersland is indeed guilty of murder, but I'm not convinced an Oklahoma court will convict him.
http://jasonwmurphey.com/index3.php
If Jason is indeed who stinkerpants claims he is...doesn't it seem strange that this guy is an elected legislator, and uses this board as a medium to convey his thoughts?
Is this the sort of elected official you want making decisions for you?
Also, since okieland ranks dead last in nearly everything good, why don't some of you ask him whats he's done to correct it??
Thanks, Jason.
April, Jason of Edmond is a terrifically repressed and very effed-up guy. Just complete bat guano, but mean about it. He's state rep. Jason Murphey--go look it up.
And why didn't they show a picture of this Cathy the Medical Researcher? This author lady, er-REAL COUGAR, has the money for Jose Ebert haircuts, face lifts, personal trainers...I don't know anyone who looks like that around my neighborhood. (except me, of course!!)
And even though your language was a little harsh, I do agree with Jason. If this society returned to the values, morals, and traditions that we used to hold dearly to, our country wouldn't be in such a mess.
I've dated younger women and they all seem the same to me. They have a brood of fatherless kids, have no career, are in a desperate financial situation, and are laying on the path like a rattlesnake, for the next guy to walk buy (pun intended).
Having said that... I think it is a photoshopped picture, too and her comment about some young 20 something guy asking her out is hilarious. Don't consider that flattering, I don't know that I've ever met a 20 year old guy with a "cull list".
As to the story, these women are, to stick with a theme, little more than unpaid whores - and proud of it. It is flabbergasting that someone would think they could appropriate a term - "cougar" - which is code for "I sleep around" and *NOT* think they are going to "inherit a degrading label." The "label" fits.
It's astonishing, the level to which this society continues to slowly sink into the cesspool of immorality, smiling & laughing all the way to the bottom.
What IS an older man who chases young women called? Used to be called a cradle robber.
S T U P I D !!!