By Brandy McDonnell
The Oklahoman
Linda Marie Ford has days - say, when her sons spend dinner time passing gas to entertain each other - when she needs to escape into a feminine ritual.
“When my boys are getting gross, sometimes I get my nails done. I have to have that girly-girl time,”
Ford said. “I just had my toes done, and they look great.”
But for the most part,
Ford, 41, of Dallas enjoys being the only female in a household with her husband,
Andy England, and their sons, Tim, 13, Matthew, 9, and Christopher, 4.
The
University of Oklahoma graduate’s experiences prompted her three years ago to start the Web site www.itsgoodtobethequeen.com, an online kingdom dedicated to women who are “the only source of estrogen” in their homes.
On the site, she shares tales of her boys repeating the same knock-knock joke ad nauseum, stowing roly-polys in their underwear drawers and leaving athletic cups on the coffee table. About 3,000 members receive her weekly address via e-mail.
Ford refers to mothers with sons at home as queens. Mothers whose boys are grown earn the title “Queen Mum.”
“Once these moms find out about this site and find out ... yes, they are in a unique position being the only women in the household, and then to be treated regally and like royalty, they’re sold,” she said in a phone interview during which her sons rubbed her shoulders, asked to play on the computer and giggled frequently.
Ford, who grew up in Tulsa, was inspired to give the site a royal theme when her two older sons were reading “The Chronicles of
Narnia.” They began answering her requests with the line, “I hear and obey, my queen.” She took the joke further by asking for a tiara for Christmas.
“They know when I wear it around the house not to mess with me. Mommy’s busy,”
Ford said. “It doesn’t work, but I like to think it does.”
An actress and stay-at-home mom,
Ford said she got the idea for the Web site in spring 2002, when she had a brunch for her friends with boys-only homes. More than 20 moms swapped stories and found a special camaraderie.
After a year of mulling the concept, she used a software kit to develop her site, which has since been professionally redesigned. At first, she simply shared tales of her boys’ antics. Other moms began sending stories, and she now includes a user’s “boy story” in her weekly address.
The site also includes a message board, chat room and links where mothers can get information on boy-related issues. Recent message board discussions included boys who love pink, fun car trip activities and solutions for cleaning stinky bathrooms.
The site often includes comments from women who desperately wanted a girl but just found out their third or fourth baby will be another boy. These mothers often feel grief and guilt.
Ford can’t relate to that desire for a girl - she recalls high-fiving her spouse when they learned their third child would be a boy - but she is happy to offer a safe forum for women to share their feelings.
“I’ve had a great time, and I think a lot of people really like it,”
Ford said. “I think it helps knowing that there’s a bajillion other moms that are thinking the same thing. I think it helps that there’s other moms going through that same thing. ... I think that’s a comfort.”
Tulsa resident
Carri Matheson visits the site most weeks, and the tales of emergency room visits and disastrous holidays often sound familiar. She and husband Brad have four sons, Isaac, 10; Jack, 8; John, 5; and Sam, 7 months.
As a toddler, Jack needed an ER doctor to remove a popcorn kernel from his ear canal, and his mother once found a giant worm in his underwear drawer. Last Christmas Eve, John was accidentally left home alone as he sat quietly on the toilet playing his new
Gameboy.
“It’s fun every once in a while when I’m having a boy moment, when they’re all wrestling on the floor and knocking things over, to go and visit it (the site) and know I’m not the only one,” she said.
Matheson said one of her sisters also has four boys, but most of her friends have a mix of sons and daughters. She believes women can’t truly relate to living with only boys unless they’ve been there.
“It’s just different when you have all that testosterone and there’s no break in it. It’s just more intense,”
Matheson said. “Everything in our house is boy. There’s no feminine anything ... my side of the closet and that’s about it.”
While she has ruled that her family will always have female dogs,
Matheson said she wouldn’t trade her boy-dominated world for anything.
“There’s just something about it. Boys love their mommas, and it’s a special bond,” she said.
Built for speed
